Demerits!
The Genr’l will now be handing out demerits which must be satisfied at once before (the business) is administered according to F.A.R.P. (fearsome ass raping in prison) protocol! The following have accumulated demerits for the following reasons!
The Captain! (Utah!) TWELVE demerits for not responding to instant message before another beer was drunk and the Genr’l could no longer type! A serious offence! Such an Officer is expected to exhibit a higher standard of behaviour! Let this be a warning to all who do not respond to instant messages, e-mails, messages via MySpaced, telephones and telegraphs, voice-mail messages and answering-device notices, telegrams, pneumatic-tube messages, pigeons, or other communiques that this sort of slothful behaviour will not be tolerated! ALL pigeons are to be returned. -The Genr’l