Insanely Long MySpace Type Quiz Survey
March 9, 20101. Are you an armchair porno actor?
2. Are you aware that Sea World has roller coasters and swimming available? Tacos
3. Are you offended by coconuts?
4. Are you not “well” in the head?
5. Are you officially considered a midget?
6. Are you prepared for a zombie invasion?
7. Are you sitting in a broken chair?
8. Can I come over and we can go cruise the Valley View Mall?
9. Can I take a picture of my dick at your mom’s house so no one recognizes the location?
10. Can you drop me off near there I live right near there my roommate just dropped me off?
11. Can you get your hands on some rubber gloves?
12. Can you peel any of my skin off – as a service?
13. Did anyone in your family ever perform puppet show presentations of the holocaust?
14. Did you get freaky with a door hinge at lunch?
15. Did you know Schizophrenia is not, as popular opinion holds, multiple personalities?
16. Did you think I was going to have some genuine reason to tell you to stop eating corn?
17. Do you approve of guys who touch unsuspecting and unwilling girls in public and don’t stop?
18. Do you dare me to have corn for lunch?
19. Do you enjoy performing autopsies on packets of cream-cheese?
20. Do you ever eat honey off a girl’s tits?
21. Do you ever think about your orthodontist?
22. Do you feel like they’re playing a massive joke on society?
23. Do you frequently drive to work?
24. Do you hate eagles?
25. Do you have any “he-she”s you’re not using right now?
26. Do you just visit your desk long enough to dust?
27. Do you know more about Star Trek than anyone you know?
28. Do you know where I can find a case of Crystal Pepsi?
29. Do you like cheers? Or chants?
30. Do you like it when I figure skate?
31. Do you miss Fen-phen jokes? Why can’t it be 1997 again?
32. Do you own crocs and/or acknowledge crocs are valid footwear?
33. Do you ride a crotch rocket?
34. Do you still like tits?
35. Do you think $56 for 144 AA Duracells is a deal?
36. Do you think that if I had been born with Down Syndrome, I would have had more threesomes in my life?
37. Do you think that you have magical powers?
38. Do you want to bring a random chick over here and watch me fuck her?
39. Do you want to call someone and pretend to be my lawyer?
40. Do you want to go to “the bar” w/ me tonight?
41. Do you want to picket Faces?
42. Do you wear flip flops in public more than once a month?
43. Does it cost $18,723,078 to live anywhere except Compton?
44. Does it make you angry that I have opposable thumbs?
45. Does it surprise you when one goonie fuck is friendly w/ another goonie-ass fuck?
46. Does the Jitterbug theme song only have one lyric?
47. Don’t you absolutely adore it when faggots suck each other’s cocks off?
48. Has anyone ever told you that you enjoy sex but fear intimacy?
49. Have you ever been frustrated in Alabama?
50. Have you ever dropped something and cannot find it so you deliberately drop something else to see if you can predict where it went?
51. Have you ever had “floppy infant syndrome”?
52. Have you ever peed into a grocery bag in your bedroom?
53. Have you ever petitioned your senator to enact a “Holocaust Was Hilarious” day
54. Have you ever seen a chick that was so hot you would voluntarily shit your pants on stage at the Grammys just to be able to see her naked?
55. Have you ever touched a high school junior innappropriately?
56. Have you ever worked with someone who made you want to drop a microwave on your own head until you were in a coma?
57. Have you seen the entire army of Jew-bots?
58. How did you first make flan? Was there any resistance?
59. How do you feel about bathrooms with cameras and no doors?
60. How do you think your probation officer would react if she learned you VOLUNTARILY associate with someone who routinely draws pictures of 17 yr old girls naked in the shower?
61. How many computers do you have in your network?
62. How much jizz do you own?
63. How much time, per day, do you spend drawing pictures of your balls?
64. How would you feel if I gave you a 40 oz bud ice and insisted that it was a season pass to six flags?
65. I like atoms?
66. If I cut off the hand will you install the hook?
67. If I made a chocolate pie with absolutely NO raisins would you sample it?
68. If I tied the bottom of my t-shirt together, wore daisy dukes, walked around calling everybody girl, and telling them that eating animal products is bullshit would you stop talking to me?
69. If peter, who is five is (6), has threeve banana! And hes little sister marco has eight (5) bananna!? Then how many does the not equal banana weigh if fallen out of? If one (3) Bananas equal threeve Bananas point four and six! And Five (2) Bananas equal six point nine not around?! Then my queston realy is that how does many not banana weigh if I threeve (9) falls out of and only is six not remains!
70. If there was a zombie apocalypse would you have sex with infected people?
71. If you could wish people to die with your mind – would you?
72. If you fart into a fan will it become a robot fart?
73. Imagine you’re in the Utah desert and you discover a new dinosaur for the 5th time in your life. What do you say?
74. Is it sad that I know all the words to “Achy Breaky Heart “?
75. Tell us, if I gave you a female, bound and gagged, as a celebratory gift should she be wearing casual nightwear or more formal/lacey nightwear?
76. Want to come over and watch movies or porn or play video games or board games?
77. What are you doing for your birthday – other than asbestos?
78. What did the computer virus say when it was looking for the goofy cartoon character?
79. What do you happen?
80. What do you have to say for all the ladies out there who think they’re too good for you?
81. What do you know about buying alkaline batteries in bulk?
82. What do you think when someone tells you they stopped drinking but then you see them with a drink?
83. What do you want on your tombstone?
84. What is a good holiday in the next 90 days to have a large pizza party celebration?
85. What message would you like to send to your redneck fans?
86. What Native American burial ground did you loot this time?
87. What’s for breakfast?
88. What’s taking you so long to build a wooden goat?
89. When you watch The Facts of Life do you make a fart noise every time the theme song says “The Facts of Life” ?
90. Who wants the island fighter’s piss and sweat?
91. Why are 99.999% of fetish people ugly?
92. Why should I stop eating corn?
93. Would it bother you if every time I sat down I had to ask someone in charge, or the head of household, whether a seat was “clean enough for *people* to sit on” ?
94. Would it confuse you if if they called every 4th Monday “Watermelon Felon” and played nothing but baseball highlights?
95. Would you appear in a music video for a song about shaving the baby Jesus’ pubes?
96. Would you be honored to have the opportunity and distinction of being the only man in history to shoot a load of jizz on the remains of Jesus Christ?
97. Would you be interested in Guantanamo Bay?
98. Would you be willing to visit a water park with Judge Judy?
99. Would you fuck a dead Jap in the throat for $40,000?
100. Would you gladly lay down on the ground and let Bill Gates pee on your bare ass for a million$$$?
101. Would you kill a baby if it was trying to saw your house down?
102. Would you like it if I did MySpace type “self” photos next to paused faces on TV and imitate their facial expressions?
103. Would you like me more if every time you came over I was watching “Larry the Cable Guy”?
104. Would you love nothing more than to wear a cowboy hat to office functions?
105. Would you pay for a Judge Judy tattoo for me?
106. Would you publicly admit that you enjoy Dane Cook’s comedy?
107. Would you say you play online role-playing computer games more than 1 hour a year?
108. Would you torch a dead body with me?
