Lord Zmolik
From EspionageWiki
Lord Zmolik's full title is Lord, Ruler, Leader, Commander, Head of State, President, Sovereign, Monarch, Crowned Head, Emperor, King, Czar, Viceroy, Suzerain, Potentate, Sultan, Emir, Shah, Pharaoh, Sheikh, Chieftain, Rajah, Khan, Shogun, Chairman, Governor, Price, Manager, Director, Admistrator, Controller, Adviser, Coordinator, Judge, Arbiter and Reverend Les J. Zmolik III of the People's Republic of Vaginaland.
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Lord Zmolik in Pop Culture
- Zmolik is the only non regular from Saved By The Bell to appear in more than 20 episodes of the series.
- In Turner & Hooch the phrase "Lord Zmolik sells tacos to the public" is uttered an astounding 391 times.
- An unknown contributor has paid over $750,000 to purchase advertising space to display fake Lord Zmolik in '08 campaign ads on billboards in 27 cities in the United States.
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Fun Facts
- Lord Zmolik's first full length feature film, A Pleasant Little Howdy, was filmed in 2008 but has not yet found a distributor.
- Lord Zmolik has never visited a public restroom without returning with great tales of nonsense.
- Lord Zmolik does not drive a car. (No longer accurate.)
- Lord Zmolik does not like Tom Cruise, but he has two movies in his favorite movie list that Mr. Cruise was in.
- Lord Zmolik has been Czechoslovakian owned and operated since 1976.
- Lord Zmolik has grown bored of typing in the about me for the time being and will now end this.
- Lord Zmolik has never been on a cruise. Regardless, he would make a fine pirate.
- Lord Zmolik has never won a spelling bee, but he beat up many a spelling bee champion.
- Lord Zmolik hates to talk about himself in the 3rd person.
- Lord Zmolik is biding his time just waiting for the chance to make sweet ass love with your mom, and by sweet ass love Lord Zmolik means doing your mom in the butt.
- Lord Zmolik is not a sword master, nor has he ever played one on TV.
- Lord Zmolik is not nearly as tall as Abe Lincoln.
- Lord Zmolik is not now, nor has he ever been, a communist.
- Lord Zmolik is widely regarded as being to first person in history to openly admit to having a set of mouthteeth.
- Lord Zmolik more than likely openly mocks your choice in religion (since 1992 my sources tell me), but it doesn't likely end there, he will possible mock your clothes, your music taste and your boyfriend and/or girlfriend.
- Lord Zmolik once fought with a toaster oven for 3 days, not stopping even to take a poop.
- Lord Zmolik OWNS a fucking trumpet.
- Lord Zmolik thinks that 4 beers and 2 shot in less than an hour is taking it easy.
- Lord Zmolik only sleeps one hour a day so that he can spend more time playing checkers with his imaginary friend, Pedro.
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